The more advanced aspects of Abrahadabra and m1thr0s’s discipline of Mutational Alchemy have proven to be far too lofty for much of the current audience on this planet. m1thr0s and I talked extensively about getting back to basics, and correcting some of the inherent damages that have been incurred over the millenia in this world. Both of us agreed that the role of women has been heavily maligned and is probably one of the most significant defects marring the standard of The Magus – the world of the occult sciences. Science proper also suffers from the alienation of women, even though some of earth’s finest scientists and mathematicians have been pioneering women.
In this particular prefoundational series we’re exploring how women look at the occult.
Aside from Blavatksy and Dion Fortune, historically we don’t get a lot of opinions from women about certain ideas in magick and occultism. Considering that many of the issues, rituals and focus in the occult is about women or the goddess, it doesn’t seem fair that the majority of the dialogue out there is coming from men, about men’s issues. It’s not fair for men who could certainly benefit from a female perspective and it’s certainly not a fair representation of women’s roles in the occult, since there are a lot of female occultists.
The series is not intended to be by women, for women, rather it’s an open dialogue on real world subjects which effect both men and women, from the viewpoints of at least two women in the occult.
We chose a text format because I found out that women are actually somewhat terrified of being found out that they are into the occult. In fact my third candidate backed out at the last minute out of fear. They’re scared of sharing their opinions due perhaps somewhat to the occult’s own personal neckbeard problem. You know the type. Women are for use as energy repositories and – nothing else. Tools to be utilized as the so-called mage would see fit. Everything a female occultist does is viewed with fear and paranoia.
In this world the circles in which the would-be Magus must enter if he is to have any social life at all, sees male and female as nothing more than occultist and non-occultist. Some women were afraid that their families would find out. The sensitivity of this first subject was also an issue. In the future I expect to maintain this anonymity since it seems to be the crux of the issue with women and talking openly in the mysterious world of the occult.
Alchemy regards male and female as quintessential one. Hermeticism also talks extensively about this idea of the sacrosanctity of the special relationship between male and female energy in a magical relationship. The old stuff is replete with sexual imagery, and Franz Bardon, Modern by occult standards, often delves into the somewhat nebulous relationship between male and female energies.
Given the necessity for privacy, text was the only option for our covert female interviewees, who cannot be identified by voice. If anyone else would like to apply, we can transcript via telephone or e-mail. Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for inquiries on being an interviewee
Together over future discourses we’re going to cover everything from death and illness, personal practice, career choices to our first topic, sex and relationships. (Conversations are edited very slightly for syntax and to eliminate snort giggles.)
My first talking partner will be Niguma, who once attended classes at Abrahadabra Forums and who continues to study Mutational alchemy alongside Shangpa Kagyu Tibetan Buddhism. A world traveller, she has been a member of the occult community for her entire life, raised in an avid Thelemite family. We spoke on the phone and for privacy the conversation is recorded in text.
First Interview: Niguma
IZI: Hello Niguma welcome .
Niguma: Thanks it’s great to be here. Namaste.
IZI: So for your own privacy you’re using an alias.
Niguma: Well Niguma is part of my Buddhist name and so it is my name, just not my birth name, yes.
IZI: Okay. Izi is not my birth name either but people know who I am.
Niguma: Yes. I don’t want a lot of attention so I’d prefer to stay anonymous. Also I am not sure how my Buddhist family thinks of occult practice so I don’t want to step on any toes. I want to remain anonymous.
IZI: Not a problem. We always have trouble getting women to talk in the occult communities. In every single one I have been a part of. I am sure it is because women are already at a disadvantage socially, all of these expectations are heaped on them to be a wife, parent and a perfect girl – which is insane, and then you buy into it and have no time for spiritual or scientific pursuits.
Niguma: Definitely. I see it you know in my friends but I was raised by a Buddhist and family, even though I’m white. So I have a better platform from which to launch myself into occultism.
Niguma: Mom was Buddhist, Dad is Thelemite by the way.
IZI: Sounds dangerous.
IZI: We’re going to talk about sex and relationships to start off with, since it’s a popular subject and one in which men and women don’t communicate effectively enough I think.
Niguma: Well sex is dangerous in Buddhism you can’t just approach it without getting into complications….
IZI: Tell me more about these complications.
Niguma: Aside from social ostracization, you supposedly run into spiritual complications. So if you’re a monk or a nun you not only cannot partake in sex without very serious preparation in a lot of lineages, you also cannot make sexual advances or flirt. If you flirt with a man or a woman and you are a nun or a monk you will get disciplined. That’s not the case in all forms of Buddhism, but it is a prevailing environment in Buddhism, sex is a big no-no. Any kind of co-ed mingling is also viewed as something to be closely monitored. It’s like Victorian England almost.
IZI: Is there a practical reason for this, I mean – having a family is considered a big hurdle on the path to spiritual advancement. We have reliable birth control now, too. And I have heard homosexuality was not a big deal compared to heterosexual acts.
Niguma: Yes, well I have not thought about it a lot but it could be considered a problem. Monasteries don’t have the means or time to care for infants, they end up with a lot of unwanted children already. Birth into this world brings suffering so you don’t want to add to that by having children, that’s for certain….Homosexuality is frowned upon in Tibetan Buddhism mostly due to the teachings of one guru. On the other hand Tibetan Buddhism is much friendlier towards heterosexual couplings than other strains of Buddhism which do not like sex at all. In fact in Tibetan Buddhism, that is, the kind the Dalia Lama is in charge of, in the final stages of training you are encouraged to partake in the sex act to achieve enlightenment.
IZI: But the lamas have to be born, too.
Niguma: They can choose at will and there has never been a time on this earth where there was not an opportunity to be born almost anywhere one would wish. That is if you have the mental faculty after death to choose, and it is believed lamas or Bodhisattvas do.
Izi: Okay so from a Buddhist perspective we should mostly avoid sexual contact, and relationships.
Niguma: Not relationships because that is the Sangha. Just no sexual contact, at least not until you are ready, and again, many schools don’t think there is ever an appropriate time for that.
Izi: I’m not on board with the Buddhist school of thought.
Niguma: That’s okay.
Izi: There is never a time where I say “life is suffering and it sucks so I want to end all of this”. The pain is a part of it. In tantra especially you accept both pleasure and pain as unavoidable and there’s merit associated with partaking of it.
Niguma: That’s true, and not too far from the first Buddha’s message – Siddhartha. His was the path of moderation never extremism. He tried and it failed him. So I think sex is one of those things where it’s a moderation practice. If you subscribe to Tibetan Buddhism it’s okay for householders and okay for higher initiates. It’s not talked about a lot, still, but it is normal for a lama to have sex with another practitioner.
Izi: Okay yeah let’s talk about the freaky stuff in Buddhism. That’s hot.
Izi: I am serious, there is all of this sexuality permeating Buddhism and Hinduism, and it’s like everyone got so REPRESSED over the past 100 years. What happened?
Niguma: Okay well first of all, there’ s a lot of not-so-nice stuff happening there. there’s a lot of misogyny, pedophilia and other nasty stuff like there is in so many organized religions. The abuse and rape of Kalu Rinpoche at the hands of monks when he was a child was unacceptable. But yes there are some very beautiful mother-father thangkas in the art, and that’s what I think is sexually appealing. You never see a thangka of homosexuality. Sorry but it doesn’t feature in world creation, which is what the thangkas are attempting to illustrate.
Izi: Okay well I don’t want to discourage consensual homosexuality at the expense of raping children, and that’s what the Tibetans are doing, yes?
Niguma: Yes the lip service is to heterosexuality amongst regulated householders but like in the Catholic Church homosexuality is forbidden. It’s setting up a really bad situation for poor children who must attend monastery to get education or security, and they are rooming with all of these monks, some of whom include homosexuals who probably resent being typecast by the religious system. They find each other and form secret pedophilia gangs who don’t care about Buddhist precepts.
Izi: See I couldn’t deal with that, I couldn’t associate with Buddhism. Siddhartha was an interesting person but did not solve this world’s problem. He solved a problem, but not the big problem. In fact your namesake channeled through me once. She was pretty angry about how her student had formed the Shangpa Kagyu, and that she did not approve of the lineage. I don’t really know or care that much about Buddhism but that struck me – that Buddhism has fallen far from its source, just as Christianity has fallen far from its source. It takes an outsider to see this but to me Buddhism has nothing to do with Siddhartha and Christianity has nothing to do with Yeheshuah. They don’t even get his name right.
Niguma: Yes. But there’s a lot of good people in Buddhism too so I stay there. It helps to have it. Shangpa Kagyu doesn’t regard the body as a bad place nor does it demonize sexuality. I don’t agree with everything the lineage teaches and I don’t put teachers on a pedestal, nor the lineage. One can’t be reliant on the Sangha alone.
Izi: I imagine. But we have to talk about relationships now, in the occult.
Niguma: I just got out of a relationship.
Izi: Out? Describe him.
Niguma: Pretty handsome, okay really handsome, and into Buddhism. But verrrry superficial. I think I fell for the handsome and then realized he was just in it for his own vainglory. I have a weakness for sexy partners so that’s not great Buddhism, but I thought it was okay because he was into you know, Buddhism.
Izi: So you were into him because he was handsome and sexy?
Niguma: Pretty much, and into Buddhism. I got some red flags though, like how he seemed to ditch his partners for no real reason except to pursue whatever flight of fancy he got, like moving to LA or if they brought up committment.
Izi: Oh I hate that. Like grow up little boy.
Niguma: Yeah he was pretty immature and I’m glad I ended it when I did. He was not ready to break up but I could see down the road and it didn’t look promising, he would have split eventually when the next new hip thing came along. His interest in Buddhism was totally superficial.
Niguma: Most of my sexual partners have been pretty okay but I am not someone to be tied down myself. I don’t want to live in a house and have kids and be a wife. I was raised Thelemite, so the image of Babalon is pretty appealing to me I guess. Free and happy, but with the right beast. Now you. What is your relationship story?
Izi: I’m married Jewish style to the best occultist in the world.
Niguma: Jewish style?
Izi: You know, they sleep with you and they don’t run away and you don’t yell about it.
Niguma: Oh lol.
Izi: It’s a really bad Deuteronomy reference, ignore it.
Izi: Okay but I am married to m1thr0s and I could never go back to -whatever that crap was I called sex and love before him.
Niguma: You seem to have a real dynamic. You also have a huge age difference.
Izi: Yeah I think it’s sexy.
Niguma: Do you get a lot of looks about that?
Izi: Not really, no one has ever said anything about it. And May December has been around forever it’s very classical. It’s alchemically correct as well. I have always thought I was the effect of his work and he acknowledges it too.
Niguma: Huh. So what…what kind of work?
Izi: Well he was redefining Hermeticism, and finishing the work Crowley began with the I Ching. Quite a big deal. Then there’s countless other discoveries. The Microprosopus and Macroprosopus third formula no one knew about for the thousands of years Alchemy was under the magnifying glass. He uncovered that. The Temporal and Primordial hexagrams layed out on the Tree of Life. But I was summoned. I know that, and I knew what was happening to me. But there was a deeper connection there as I have been with him off world on a lot of other missions. This one is not the shittiest but it ranks right up there with my top 100 worst of all time. He needed me really badly here so I made the decision to incarnate into the world in 1978, and found a mother in 1980. this had to be a very particular kind of mother, she had to have certain things I don’t want to talk about.
Niguma: Fascinating. So you feel like your love was preordained?
Izi: It already existed and it was part of a plan.
Niguma: Oh right. Wow I wish I had that kind of certainty. I can’t seem to remember a bit about my past lives.
Izi: There is a complexity to accepting the reality of reincarnation, acknowledging your memories as fact rather than fantasy. If there’s no god and no life after death, there’s no point in not relishing the fantasy. Because we’ll be dead soon. I’m fairly certain it is not fantasy or a trick. I can’t imagine the universe being so stupid to me personally at least. Reality appears to be subjective. I can’t get a lot of people to agree with me.
Niguma: On the topic of relationships I remember we were facebooking and we both didn’t find a lot of men attractive. I’m not a lesbian…
Izi: It would make things less complicated…
Niguma: Yes, lol, and probably less smelly. but I think that’s a factor of the spiritual deficit of our world. We really live amongst a lot of spiritual inbreeds, so to speak. I find spirituality very attractive, and that can be dangerous because us woo-woo girls get sucked into cults or whatever. Crowley didn’t intentionally raise any fools but it’s somewhat of a worry.
Izi: I find the false Messiahs kind of funny but can’t imagine who would be attracted to them. I mean they are kind of like a phenomenon you’d think people would be able to recognize by now.
Niguma: It’s white culture. We’re so lost. I mean I’m Finnish and we’re supposed to be one with the land and smoked herring and here I am growing up in Chicago with my parents who worship a batty Englishman, Buddha and watch CNN. Not a lot of culture there except for Crowley, but he’s really weird for a 12 year old girl. I never got into Thelema but my parents were okay with that.
Izi: They didn’t lay the Moon child trip on you?
Niguma: I think my mom wanted me to be an Indigo because it was a fad, but no, she let me do my own thing. They were both pretty proud of me and when I became a Buddhist they thought it was a phase. Maybe it’s a phase. I’m past the point of infatuation and have lived in Tibet, and I’m still here.
Izi: So I’m supposed to ask, and we answer, what is your ideal traits in a mate, and give examples if you can.
Niguma: Ooh um…I havn’t met Mr. Right yet. Not sure he exists. I think that’s why I turned to Buddhism. I mean not just boys but satisfaction, I didn’t think it could be found in this world. But ideally he would be very spiritual, be a good cook, take his shoes off when he comes into my flat, and take me to sushi.
Izi: That sounds pretty reasonable.
Niguma: Is the bar too low?
Izi: I think it’s probably a good idea not to expect too much because you might be surprised about what is possible.
Niguma: I should like to hope so. We’ll see.
Izi: So my ideal traits in a mate have changed a lot. I wanted initially someone who shared a passion for Ninjutsu, and I ended up with a really bad relationship which I’ve talked about elsewhere. He was very abusive and obsessed with sex. There’s just a sexy zone which my mind is very selective about. I don’t think it’s just a “mission parameters” thing, either. It’s got a lot to do with power levels. Martial arts raises it a little bit but it’s not enough for my senses. Meditation of the proper sort makes a guys sexiness levels skyrocket on my radar, so to speak.
Niguma: I think I get that. I have dated the Kung Fu crowd but they are only exhilirating if they have the deep deep DEEP monk level meditation going on.
Izi: Right, its not the martial arts. MA is a dead end ultimately, gets you to a certain point but after that it’s pointless. You get it, you move on. 23 Skidoo. I am not at all attracted to martial artists now because I see through the game.
Niguma: Okay 23 Skiddoo, The….Book of Lies? I havn’t read that one in a while.
Izi: I don’t have a copy next to me, but it’s a good one.
Niguma: I remember, something about getting out of the inn, because you’re an innkeeper, or something.
Izi: That’s the one.
Izi: Anyways so good powerful meditational practice. That light is like what blood must smell like to vampires to me.
Niguma: Oh Eric Northman on Trueblood. That’s the ultimate hottie.
Izi: I KNOW RIGHT. The guy I am interested in has to be a feminist, and be aware of the issues facing females, since I think that is the priority of Yang, to be aware of this. If they are into themselves they are just Air or Earth, not Fire. I need a Fire guy.
Niguma: Fire? You mean like Tetragrammaton?
Izi: You got it. And I don’t want Water guys because they are too much the same. I have things to accomplish. I need the Emperor to my Empress. Or a Devil, or a Hermit, since they’re really the same guy according to the Tree and Ching via m1’s proximity principle.
Niguma: I remember somewhere on the boards you discussing how the Hermit was the secret agent of the Empress.
Izi: That’s because of the locations on the Tree they are placed at. They share a secret relationship.
Niguma: So what is sex like for you and m1thr0s?
Niguma: Getting to the good stuff now….
Izi: I actually can’t talk about it because he would kill me. But there’s a lot of electricity. All the time. It’s so different from what I expected, where I had set my bar really low in comparison. So I was pleased. I think that it gets better everyday too. It’s sexy to learn together, too.
Niguma: I hear that, learning is very sexual. I’ve had a couple of flings with teachers myself.
Niguma: Oh well yes there was one but I mean just like, in the classroom, like college and then one of the Kung Fu Instructors I dated was, well, my instructor.
Niguma: I feel like I’ve over-shared.
Izi: Well yes but that’s what’s wonderful about this being anonymous. I mean I’m not but I won’t blow your cover.
Izi: It seems like we have pretty high standards. But not looking for anything particularly mundane. I mean a big difference between us and other women is we have our own thing and want to be independent and powerful.
Niguma: I want to be enlightened. I don’t know if a man is an answer to that. Maybe a spiritual man but maybe not even that. Maybe just meditation.
Izi: I think that it’s fine to be satisfied with that. The vestal virgin thing is probably pretty appealing to a lot of girls. But I think the light manifests as mankind, too, and there’s a lot of aspects of the original fire hidden here. A lot of darkness and ignorance, too, but they pass and are gone and the light will win eventually.
Niguma: Yes, the light will win and Nirvana will prevail for all.
Izi: Okay thanks for talking. We’ll do it again.
Soror Ma’at is the pen name of a Thelemite who attends a lodge on the West Coast of the United States and wants to conceal her identity to protect her lodge standing. (Not that we are on bad terms with any Lodges but she isn’t sure how they would react to her going outside the Lodge for occult activities)
Ma’at: 93 Izi can you hear me okay?
Ma’at: I’m calling on my iphone from a local coffee house the connections not always great
Izi: Yes i can hear you fine.
Izi: So the purpose of this exercise is to talk about everyday things but from an occultists perspective. and were girls of course.
Izi: So whats your view on sex and relationships as an occultist.
Ma’at: Wow thats a pretty huge topic.
Izi: We could narrow it down.
Ma’at: I think its very difficult for a woman to find a mage that can actually do as much for her as she can potentially do for him.
Izi: I’m not sure I agree. but i have a great mage for a lover so …
Ma’at: Well youre very lucky.
Izi: Yeah youre probably right. m1thr0s says I don’t view myself as an exception to the rule enough of the time.
Izi: But i did a lot of work, magickal work to try and find him and that work started when i was about 16.
Izi: There are things i knew about him because of ritual magickal work i had done and the entailing visions and dreams that followed.
Izi: That took me him. I got confirmation in a big way….
Ma’at: So you had a lot of indicators and help finding your magickal mate.
Izi: Well i took a detour to a really dead end relationship and got a divorce. That was fucked up.
Ma’at: Mm hmm….
Ma’at: Were there kids involved?
Ma’at: That must have been very difficult.
Izi: Yeah it sucks and….
Ma’at: Without trying to get too personal which is difficult on the topic would you say this person maintained a magickal practice for any particular purpose or for parties or more for casual interest?
Izi: He was a deadbeat emotionally, physically, spiritually….a true momma’s boy who ….well gosh in retrospect I am certain he tried to poison me and there was a lot of other weird shit going on…probably a narcissist. He certainly acted like one. I had a ton of outpouring of support for me in making the transition to where I am now. I might not have made it otherwise.
Izi: When i did goetia and summoning and work with vision questing he would play along but i don’t think he ever owned any of it, and the spirits disliked him. I could feel it. m1thr0s repeatedly tells me he’s not real, and that’s kind of true.
Ma’at: So there was not much mutual growth happening there magickally
Ma’at: I would say i experienced similar sort of problem from different circumstances but similar complications.
Izi: I feel like i projected a lot on to him, and he was not worthy.
Ma’at: You projected a lot on to him…
Izi: Yeah my ex
Ma’at: By trying to turn him into something he was not prepared to be do you think?
Izi: Yes. he didnt respond well to my energy work. i mean he would black out if i went to Da’ath and sort of looked into that energy. The purple energy.
Ma’at: So you guys were going straight at Da’ath as opposing to working withYesod.
Izi: Maybe it was Yesod.
Ma’at: Yesod would be more like the earth triad where you have Venus on one side youd have Hod on the other side it’s called the earth triad.
Izi: Yeah maybe it was that cuz Yesod is purple.
Izi: So whenever i would tap that, he would just short circuit. I never discussed it with him.
Ma’at: Wow. Cuz thats not even basically first base in terms of astral.
Izi: Hahahahahhaha omg what was i thinking
Izi: Anyways m1thr0s doesnt have those problems. i end up passed out and hes all buzzed after sex
Izi: The result is i enjoy sex alot more. i never enjoyed it with my ex that much. it was really just a chore. i hated trying to make it interesting. he was always interested. this is depressing.
Ma’at: Mmm hmm yeah i can see how it would be…
Izi: I dont live there anymore though its a huge relief.
Ma’at: Well for what its worth my experience was also depressing although for slightly different reasons and slightly different ways but similarily dissapointing, and uh, um, i guess very one sided is the best way for me to identify it.
Izi: Oh yeah. definately. ive never enjoyed sex this much. its worth it to find a mage who knows what they are doing kabbalistically or energetically speaking.
Izi: Ithink the chinese define it as Yin and Yang fluxes. like if the polarities are off you get bad matches.
Ma’at: Mmm hmm
Izi: But thats not all thats going on
Izi: So im picturing that song by wynona rider where have all the cowboys gone in the background except where have all the mages gone
Ma’at: Mmm hmm. there were never very many of them to begin with, in the case of mages at least.
Izi: Well properly theres only one isnt there
Ma’at: Is there? lol. i hadnt considered that
Izi: Well theres the tao, the tao is the mage right
Ma’at: Wow now our sites are like way up high
Ma’at: I think weve just totally sprung a leak in our Yesod roof here
Izi: I dont know what that means but its funny. “You could drown a toddler in my panties right now. Not that you would.”
Ma’at: lol whaaat
Izi: Oh it’s an Archer quote. Nevermind.
Izi: Not that I’m trying to solve anyone’s problems…
Izi: I know it sounds cheesy, but pray about it. because right before I finally I guess discovered abrahadabra.com, i was doing heavy tantric work praying to Siva and i asked Siva, i said can you please make Greg my ex into a husband like you, and if you cant, please send me someone who is. and i had a really deep connection with the deity at that point. Not doing any drugs either – i was like 26. it was 2006. I was talking to the jasmine flowers in my garden.
Izi: And i came to Abrahadabra and the next January i announced to Greg I wanted a divorce and within just a few months i had an major epiphany, and i mean that in the classical sense – Ningishzidda visited me and it was spectacular.
Izi: Well by the next year i found i was falling for m1thr0s because he pulled me through it just talking me through the more perilous aspects of this sort of major event that happens to all occultists given enough time on the path. but also i was getting major signals from Heaven that i was supposed to go to him. I had a conversation with a certain star goddess who really wanted us to get together
Ma’at: Star goddess? does she have a name?
Izi: But yeah i wont go into details because its personal, but thats what happened.
Ma’at: Thats some pretty heavy involvement involving alot of heavyweights in this relationship.
Izi: well my point is that you will be surprised that if you ask the right people, you might get what you ask for. but if you dont ask, theres no way in hell they can ever help you. its like a rule of the game. or playing field.
Izi: It doesnt end there though, theres the Great Work to accomplish and relationships are always work, everyday you have to tend to them. Plus all of the intricacies of being occultists with a heavy responsibility of being the bridge between heaven and earth, that comes at a price that has to be paid. Its great and theres no other choice for magickal folk. Alot of people deny it and go about their business ignoring the fact that they will all too soon be rotting corpses in the ground, with nothing to show for their infidelity to the Great Work.
Ma’at: The true infidels. That’s interesting.
Ma’at: What do you think about the concept of twinflames?
Izi: There was an occultist – Sebastian who I worked closely with for about a year who was really into that. I thought he invented by him but lately I’ve been seeing the idea pop up in a lot of strange places. From what I understood it may have been from Drunvalo Melchizedek.
Ma’at: Yes that’s right. A bit New Age you might not like it….
Izi: I never got into his stuff so I have no idea. Anyways Sebastian – he said that the singular supersoul as described by Krsna, splits and continues to split as it descends through space time, until you get here on earth and you have something like 18 different parts of you – your twin flames.
Ma’at: Yeah it’s not like soulmates.
Izi: So….yes I think it’s possible but I’m not about to sign up on the Woo Wagon just yet.
Ma’at: Woo Wagon, lol
Izi: Heh, I just don’t see a point to overanalyzing it. If there’s more of me doing my job, fine, if not, whatever, doesn’t concern me right now with the amount of work I have on my plate.
Ma’at: Do you regard m1thr0s as your twin flame?
Izi: No, I don’t. He is my lover, brother and master, but I don’t really subscribe to the idea of twin flames…it’s just so…ech…cheezy.
Ma’at: I like it but then I’m a romantic.
Izi: I think m1thr0s and I are very romantic. He tells me the most romantic things. I could probably write a romance novel with some of the things he tells me.
Ma’at: Sounds like you got yourself a keeper.
Izi: I do.
Ma’at: I’m never going to understand why some people find it so easy to get into a magickal relationship that works.
Izi: God girl, I don’t think it was ever easy. I had been trying to find him since I was practically a child. The world was a horrible thing to me and I needed a Magus.
Ma’at: A child? lol
Izi: Well teenager, but same difference. I was stupid enough to marry a cretin and then get pregnant. Don’t do that.
Ma’at: But still, you have what you want now.
Izi: Yes and I feel very lucky, I feel like I’ve been dealt a very fair hand with m1thr0s for once in my godamned life.
Ma’at: I’ve been seeing this guy who basically is just a child myself…he’s waaaaay younger than even I would normally want to date. I am 30 and he’s 22.
Izi: That doesn’t seem like a huge age difference.
Ma’at: It is culturally. I don’t get the bands he’s into and he has a lot of learning to catch up on. I feel like his mom. lol
Izi: That can suck. Nobody wants to be a mom to their lover, not truly.
Ma’at: I’ve heard some women really get into it, but, eh, not me.
Izi: So why are you dating him?
Ma’at: I was bored and sexy.
Ma’at: I better not say anymore because I have no idea who is going to be hearing this.
Izi: It’s all typed.
Ma’at: Oh, good. Change the ages then so he can’t guess.
Izi: Will do.
Ma’at: I think I’m tired of talking about men and boys. Men-boys.
Izi: That’s really the crux of the whole issue here isn’t it? As women we’ve grown a lot faster through our tribulations than many men.
Izi: I hope to have you on again in the future Ma’at, it’s been nice talking to you.
Ma’at: You too Izi….I would like to go again as well.